White Fragility: Why It’s So Hard for White People to Talk About Racism synopsis

Anger. Fear. Guilt. Denial. Silence. These are the ways in which ordinary white people react when it is pointed out to them that they have done or said something that has – unintentionally – caused racial offence or hurt. But these reactions only serve to silence people of colour, who cannot give honest feedback to ‘liberal’ white people lest they provoke a dangerous emotional reaction…

My thoughts on White Fragility

Robin DiAngelo came up with the term ‘white fragility’ to describe a phenomenon she observed as a diversity consultant. She noticed that white people, to be blunt, aren’t good at discussing race. DiAngelo has described white fragility as “a state in which even a minimum amount of racial stress becomes intolerable.” Throughout the book she shares a number of anecdotes from diversity workshops she has run, illustrating the many ways in which white people will resist having to acknowledge that they may have said or done something racist.

In White Fragility, DiAngelo is talking as a white person, to other white people. Specifically, white people raised in Western cultures, with a focus on America – as that’s the context she’s most familiar with.

The book itself isn’t particularly long, but it lays out some powerful arguments that you might want to take your time over. I’m sure I’m not alone in wanting to think of myself as a good person. I think I’m progressive, I think I believe in equality, I think I respect people regardless of the colour of their skin. In White Fragility, DiAngelo highlights the fact that most white people have grown up absorbing racist messages, and that those messages leave an impression, whether you like it or not.

“You said something racist,” versus, “You are a terrible person.”

One of the things that I think is done well in this book is how DiAngelo separates doing or saying something racist from being an awful, irredeemable person. Clearly, we should all try not to say racially insensitive things. But DiAngelo suggests that part of the reason for white fragility is that we (by which I mean white people) receive feedback on racist actions as an attack on our character, and respond to defend ourselves. “I can’t have said something racist, because that would make me a racist, and racists are evil.”

Instead, DiAngelo suggests, we should try to come to a place of accepting that we’ve probably internalised a lot of problematic ideas. Getting feedback on the expression of those ideas should be something we’re grateful for; it helps us to work on those ideas and do better in the future. “I don’t want to be racist, but I said something that illustrated some racist pattern in my thinking. I can now understand why that was problematic, and challenge that thought if it comes up again, in me or somebody else.”

One of the biggest things I’ve tried to take away from the book is that reframing. I’m still nervous of accidentally saying something offensive, I hope I don’t do it! But if I do, and it seems likely that I will at certain points in my life, I hope somebody challenges me. And I hope I can respond with gratitude and resolve to do better, rather than defensiveness or denial.

Not necessarily ground-breaking, but interesting

There wasn’t much in the book that truly shocked me. My experience of reading it was more often about putting words to concepts that I hadn’t been able to articulate before. Ideas like the fact that an oppressed group can’t liberate itself – rights have to be awarded by the group with the power. That isn’t news, and it makes complete sense, but I hadn’t necessarily thought about it as clearly as that before.

Similarly, the idea that white people aren’t used to considering themselves in racial terms. White is so broadly considered to be the default that we don’t often need to name our own race. This, again, wasn’t a new idea to me, but I don’t think there’s ever any harm in having it reiterated. It’s an important thing to examine. So, there were a few things like this throughout White Fragility.

Problems with White Fragility

There are definitely issues in the book. For one thing, some of the terminology feels outdated (or just off) enough to make me uncomfortable. I’m sure there are other issues as well, which I may not have picked up on. You can’t avoid the fact that White Fragility is a book about racism, written by a white person. I think it’s still a useful book – I certainly found it useful. But it isn’t (and shouldn’t be considered) a definitive educational tool around issues of race.

Summary

It’s imperfect, and inherently limited, but I still think White Fragility can be a valuable resource. I found it useful for shifting my mindset around racism. Racism isn’t limited to awful people, spouting threats and vile language at Black people and other People of Colour. It’s woven into the fabric of our society. Racism is in the messages we receive throughout our lives. It’s all around us, and it’s the responsibility of white people to actively work against it. In ourselves and in others.